


kyuhyuk | 밀리언조각 (a million pieces)

by plincess_cho (ai_hao)



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Gen, enlistment seems so long ago, flangst, kyuhyuk - Freeform, non-au, oof, pre-enlistment feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-28 23:09:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16251686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ai_hao/pseuds/plincess_cho
Summary: When Hyukjae leaves for the army, a part of Kyuhyun leaves with him.





	kyuhyuk | 밀리언조각 (a million pieces)

**Author's Note:**

> Special shoutout to [the lovely Poorvs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andcntes/pseuds/andcntes) for helping me finish ♡

Kyuhyun yawns as he rides the elevator up to his floor. He'd been filming all evening for the comeback stage for "A Million Pieces," and he's exhausted. Happy, but exhausted. He's ready for a shower, a comfy bed, and maybe a beer, not exactly in that order. He keys in the passcode and pushes the door to the dorms open. The lights are off, which isn’t unusual for such a late hour, but the entire dorm is completely silent. 

In all of the years that Kyuhyun has lived on the eleventh floor, he can count the number of times the dorm has been this quiet on one hand, and several of those occasions were too somber to even think about. Yet this silence is different: it's not a heartbroken speechlessness left by news of a horrible trauma, and it's not the numb stillness that followed. No, this silence is just a reminder that the members have moved out and moved on, leaving Kyuhyun behind.  


Yesung had moved out first to live with his parents during his service. Sungmin had followed after his marriage, buying a nice apartment for him and his wife to live in.  _ “Imagine bringing Saeun back to the dorms to live with all of us,” _ the members had joked, but Sungmin had vetoed that.  _ “You wouldn’t be able to walk around naked,” _ he’d said, and the members had quickly rescinded their offer. 

And so for awhile, it had just been Kyuhyun and Hyukjae living together on the 11th floor, with managers coming in and out to occupy the now empty rooms. Neither had ever really talked about moving out; after all, the dorms were relatively cheap and incredibly convenient. Why bother? 

Yet finally, enlistment requirements had caught up with them, and Hyukjae had moved out the day before leaving for basic training. Kyuhyun had sat with him as he’d packed almost everything he owned into boxes to be sent into storage for the next two years. It had been fun reminiscing as Hyukjae pulled out fan gifts, old tour t-shirts, and dirty socks from his wardrobe. They’d laughed harder than they had in weeks as they sorted through Hyukjae’s old clothes, some of which had gone out of style long before he’d ever bought them.

Kyuhyun had been out when the movers had come to collect Hyukjae’s things, and now he looks around at the barren space that Hyukjae used to occupy with an ache in his stomach. The silence of the empty dorm is crushing, and the realization that his favorite hyung has gone only makes it worse.

Kyuhyun still hasn’t processed the fact that Donghae left this morning, that Changmin and Siwon will leave next month, that Ryeowook will go next year, and that his time is coming faster than he would like. Enlistment had been a reality since the day they’d all been born, but now that it’s finally happening in full force, Kyuhyun realizes he’d never properly prepared to say goodbye.

After all, how do you say goodbye to people you’ve lived with, worked with, cried with, laughed with, and bled with for the past ten years?

It's like his heart is made up of a million pieces like the song says, and every time someone leaves they take a little part of him. One or two pieces aren't missed, but over time, the loss starts to show. And the pieces being taken these days seem to get bigger with each set of goodbyes.  


Kyuhyun tries to shake off the melancholy and goes to shower, but even that feels depressing. He remembers the days when they’d each have to fight for the showers, and now he has two entire bathrooms to himself. He likes having a toilet to himself, of course, but this space once filled with so much laughter and life now feels empty and cold.  


He dries off with a towel, smirking as he remembers how it used to bother Donghae beyond belief that he and Hyukjae would [walk around naked](https://youtu.be/293ajcs_2-c?t=62) after showering. They’d always remind him that he could go back up to his own dorm instead, but that never seemed to stick. Besides, Heechul had moved out already and Ryeowook had been spending more time with his parents. Naked Kyuhyun and naked Hyukjae had somehow seemed better to Donghae than sitting alone in an empty dorm.

Kyuhyun now knows that feeling.  


He pulls on some pajamas and pulls out his phone, scrolling through his contact list to see who he could text to come over. He briefly contemplates texting the member group chat, but they’d probably just laugh it off. Not that anyone really uses it much anymore since half of the participants are in the military with limited phone privileges. 

If Hyukjae were here, he’d definitely come over. They’d pull out the giant box of DVD’s that they’ve accumulated over time and sort through them until they’d find something to watch. Other they could watch the Travel Channel and plan their next vacation.

They’d gotten to tour around Los Angeles for just a short time earlier that summer, going out to stare at the [giant moon](https://twitter.com/GaemGyu/status/627331539286646784) glistening over the ocean. Hyukjae had stayed a bit longer, but Kyuhyun had gone back with the rest of the members for a filming. That seems to rule his life these days: filmings. He knows that his schedule is only getting busier in these coming weeks, especially with his new album, and he hopes that the busyness will keep him from thinking too much about everyone who has gone. 

He’d gotten several texts from Hyukjae from across the ocean, pictures of the food he had eaten, the amusement parks he had visited, and the ocean he had swam in. 

_ [AllRiseSilver] You really need to come back here! _

_ [GaemGyu] It’s on my list!! _

He’d wanted to text back  _ Let’s go together _ , but there wouldn’t be time for that. After all, by the time Hyukjae discharges, Kyuhyun will already be gone.

There had been that trip to Germany that they’d taken with Donghae and Ryeowook, the trip to Greece before that, the trip to Italy before that… It had always been funny to Kyuhyun how they all spent literally every single day together and yet still spent their holidays together as well. He guessed that’s what happened with family.

He plods into his room and dumps his dirty clothes on the floor next to an assortment of junk. He should tidy things up, but tonight, he really doesn’t feel like it. Instead, he flops down on the bed with a  _ mmpf _ . Instead of his face hitting the soft pillow, he lands on something glossy. He sits up and peels a photo off of his face, readjusting himself to properly examine it.

It’s a photo they had taken when [Hyukjae had come to support Kyuhyun](https://twitter.com/AllRiseSilver/status/485165176904097792) in  _ Singin’ in the Rain _ . Hyukjae had borrowed one of the other cast member’s yellow rain slicker so they’d matched in the picture. Kyuhyun smiles at the memory: he hadn’t known Hyukjae was coming until he’d appeared backstage with a manager, cheering loudly for Kyuhyun and his cast members.

That had been when Hyukjae had been the vice leader of Super Junior, standing in for Leeteuk-hyung who had been enlisted. A few of the members had been surprised that Leeteuk had picked Hyukjae, but it had always made sense to Kyuhyun.  _ “He’s willing to do anything for the team, even if it means making sacrifices of himself,” _ Kyuhyun had said during their member meeting. Hyukjae had smiled shyly and thanked Kyuhyun later for his kind words.

Hyukjae had taken good care of him during that time, like he had before all of the enlistments started. After Kyuhyun’s initial rough start into Super Junior, the two of them had gotten along decently well until the accident had bonded them together forever. Kyuhyun really doesn’t remember most of it to this day, but after years of retelling the story with the others, he’s able to piece together what happened. The one thing he does remember is lying on the pavement, unable to feel anything below his waist, with Hyukjae leaning over him, praying fiercely for God to save his life.

_ “Please, God, don’t take Kyuhyun away, I need him, please save him.” _

And when he’d woken up in the hospital days later, unable to speak, Hyukjae had been one of the members to come sit with him and patiently wait for his voice to return.  _ “I had a few glass shards in my back,”  _ he’d said.  _ “Nothing serious, so don’t worry about me. Just… Just concentrate on getting better. It won’t be Super Junior without you.” _ He’d gently patted Kyuhyun’s arm, one of the few places that hadn’t been injured, and had started to tear up.

_ It won’t be Super Junior without you either, hyung,  _ Kyuhyun thinks to himself. He turns the photo over to read the inscription on the back.

_ I’m going to listen to ‘A Million Pieces’ a million times in the army. You picked this song because you’ll be too sad without me, right? Either way, it’s good.  
From, Armpit Hyung _

Just like Hyukjae, he thinks with a chuckle. Cheeky. The armpit bit had always been their little joke that none of the other members understood.  _ “He was washing out his armpits in the sink!” _ Kyuhyun would always say while Hyukjae turned a deep red.  _ “And?” _ the others would say.  _ “[I was traumatized!”](https://youtu.be/VrsgESBbMrU?t=147) _ he’d exclaim, and Hyukjae would just swat at him. He likes joking around with Hyukjae, and Hyukjae lets him have his fun. 

And yet, Kyuhyun’s still incredibly touched. He props the photo up against the lamp on his nightstand and stares at it for a minute. A lot of things have changed since that photo was taken, and a lot of things will change before they can take their next photo together. 

They’ll meet up for dinner after Hyukjae finishes basic training. Hyukjae will grouse about the bill, claiming his meager soldier’s salary, but he’ll pay for it anyways despite Kyuhyun’s attempts to do so. They’ll talk about life in the army, life in the entertainment world, and life in general. 

And then right at the end, they’ll hug goodbye. Hyukjae will tear up. Kyuhyun will too, but won’t admit it. They’ll say their farewells, and Hyukjae will walk back to the base, carrying another piece of Kyuhyun’s heart with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love ♡
> 
> [twitter](twitter.com/plinces_cho) / [tumblr](plincess-cho.tumblr.com)


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